I don’t often swear on CL.
I do in real life, but there’s something about it being written that makes my recovering 'goody two-shoes' feel seriously uncomfortable.
Yet there it is, front and centre.
Because, this is the phrase that escapes when I'm calling out a lie.
Not any old lies - but the fibs we're telling to keep ourselves comfortable.
I use it with myself. I use it with friends and family. And I DEFINITELY use it with clients when their untrue 'stories' are holding them back.
Anyone who has seen 'How to lose a guy in 10 days' will know that this phrase is best said drawn out in a loooong, sloooow, deep American south accent, a la Matthew McConaughey.
Perhaps doing it that way somehow softens the blow of someone calling your bluff.
But that's part of my job. I'm not here to be a false friend, I'm not here to soften the sometimes hard edges of truth so that you can stay comfortably where you are. My job is to wake you up to the stories that you tell yourself that are JUST. NOT. TRUE. Stories that are sometimes so deeply engrained that my challenge of them feels abrasive and uncomfortable.
Sorry, not sorry…
Because when you give yourself permission to really question the truth behind your thoughts and words (with kindness and no judgement please), that is when you will start to unveil your potential for transformation. The power to break the patterns that have been limiting your life, your health and your body, resides in honest reflection.
THAT is why I call bullshit.
“There’s nothing healthy to eat for lunch”, she says looking past the sparse but present veggies in the fridge and quinoa in the cupboard.
“I have no time to exercise”, she says having just spent 15 minutes watching peoples' stories on Instagram.
“It’s for the kids”, she says throwing the chocolate digestives into the shopping basket already anticipating their taste.
"Yes, I'd love to", she says instantly feeling dread in her stomach.
How many lies do you tell yourself and others everyday?
I think we're all guilty of doing it to some extent. We do it, partly, to protect ourselves. These tall-tales are designed to make you and your choices/behaviours more acceptable to yourself and others.
If we fib just enough to justify our actions then we have protected ourselves from our own judgement AND the judgement of others...or so we think.
The trouble is, these lies keep you where you are. So whilst you may temporarily escape feeling bad about your choice, when you realise you're stuck repeating the same old patterns, creating the same old results, ppffff - not a nice place to be. And the worst bit? The worst bit is that you know, somewhere deep down, that YOU are responsible. Alas - there creeps in the judgement we were all trying to avoid. You realise that YOUR actions have kept you in that place where you deem your self, your health, your body and your life as "not good enough". Horrid right?
So as little and 'white' as some of these lies may seem, they stop you moving forward.
They stop you making changes, seeing changes, feeling changes.
They make you wonder why, no matter how many times you re-start, the same pattern always unveils.
Sadly, what we fail to see, is that the bullshit is hiding truths that would move you into a mood, a body and a life you LOVE. Yes, these truths are often uncomfortable and inconvenient, but when viewed with compassion rather than judgement, they truly can propel you into healthy action and ultimately, change.
Now, getting real and unveiling all these truths does not mean you don't sometimes eat the chocolate cake. It doesn't mean that you don't occasionally have a lazy day on the sofa, or that second gin and tonic. No, what these truths mean is that when you do those things, you do them EYES WIDE OPEN.
You do them not because "you had to" or "there were no other options" but because doing so truly felt like a self-honouring choice. A choice that came from a position of power rather than a position of false necessity.
The moment you take full OWNERSHIP of the truth of your choices, is the moment you see that you have the power to make a different choice next time and the time after that.
So get real. Call bullshit to your lies. Start facing the facts of your life, health, choices, decisions, behaviours, habits, and start moving forward.
To put this into perspective beyond food and exercise, I will never forget when Graham called "bullshit" to one of my fibs.
We had just moved to America, a decision we made together, fully knowing the realities of that choice - that I couldn't practice as a chiropractor out there. Well, I conveniently forgot my active role in that decision when I was amidst my overwhelming identity crisis that hit once my work and financial income halted.
"We're here and I'm miserable because of the f'ing Army and your f'ing career..." (See, I told you I swear.)
But, rightly so, Graham called "bullshit"...
"No Georgie, we're here because together, WE chose to make this happen. Not because of MY job. Not because of MY career. But because of OUR choice. Don't blame the Army because that's the easiest option", he said.
That truth hit me pretty hard.
If I couldn't blame him and offload all of my negative energy, then what was I going to do?
Get real, that's what. Recognise my responsibility. Retake ownership of my power. Dive into the uncomfortable truths and navigate them with as much grace and compassion as I could muster. No it wasn't easy but it was of course worth it.
By questioning my own bullshit I realised that I am the primary creator of my world and I could either continue to sit where I was, blaming people and circumstance, OR own that I am the master of my choices and I can choose change.
So, your bullshit might be keeping you comfortable in the very short term, but it's holding you back in the long term.
I therefore urge to you ask if your story is true.
Ask if there really aren’t healthy options.
Ask if you really don’t have any time.
Ask if that really is what you want for yourself.
Or very simply, is that REALLY true?
The power of truth is yours to claim, so take it and step forward.
So much love to you,